Church A and B

So last week was the first week I went to a different church and I went to yet another church this week. I'm going to post my reviews of the churches here. I'm loathe to say anything negative about any churches, so just keep in mind these are my little nit-picks and that just because a church isn't right for me doesn't make it a wonderful church.

First was HOC church. My first impression was ok. The people seemed nice enough, but not many people introduced themselves to me. The music was not my style at all. The message was very good, although the pastor ocassionally used strange idioms that confused me. My overall impression was OK, but I'm not sure this is the church for me. I'll give it another chance though by going to a prayer meeting or two.

Second church I visted was SCB. (more later)

The difficulty in finding the right fit in a church is that I really want a church where I can get very involved. I want to get plugged into at least one ministry. The church I am currently at is wonderful, but is full of young marrieds and empty nesters. For one, I feel disconnected and like I can't relate to any of them. Secondly, one of the few ministries to get involved in is helping out in nursery. I'm not such a big fan of children, so that isn't a good fit for myself. Another dilemma I'm facing in choosing a church is that I'd prefer a small church. Being a large church certainly isn't a deal breaker, but I get nervous in large crowds. The bigger the church, typically, the more ministries it is involved in. That's what I'm finding anyway. I'm trusting God to guide my steps. The sheer volume of churches in Santa Clarita is also of concern. I've been reading statements of faith online till my eyes go numb. I've still only narrowed it down to a 2 page list of churches to visit. This could take me half the year if I visit a new church each week. My plan was to visit all the promising ones and then make notes on which ones really stand out. Then go back and start visiting again the ones I've marked down and cross off the list the ones I'm not interested in. This will be an extremely long process, but I don't want to skip any churches just to hurry the process along. What if I miss out on the "perfect" church for me? All in God's time... All in God's time...

Too hot church? Too cold church? Just right church?

In the coming weeks I'm going to be revamping the blog and changing its direction. I'm going to chronicle my journey in trying to find a new Church. It's going to be more difficult than I first anticipated.

The state of my heart

Various excerpts from the psalms (namely psalms 22 and 31)
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?

² O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent.

Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.

¹² Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

¹³ Roaring lions tearing their prey
open their mouths wide against me.

¹⁴ I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me."

"Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

³ Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

⁴ Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

⁵ Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.

¹⁰ My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak."

Amos

He who forms the mountains,
creates the wind,
and reveals his thoughts to man,
he who turns dawn to darkness,
and treads the high places of the earth—
the LORD God Almighty is his name.
Amos 4:13

But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!
Amos 5:24

He is risen Indeed!

"⁵⁵O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

⁵⁶The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

⁵⁷But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

1 Cor 15:55-57 (Old King James)

"

^51-57But let me tell you something wonderful, a mystery I'll probably never fully understand. We're not all going to die—but we are all going to be changed. You hear a blast to end all blasts from a trumpet, and in the time that you look up and blink your eyes—it's over. On signal from that trumpet from heaven, the dead will be up and out of their graves, beyond the reach of death, never to die again. At the same moment and in the same way, we'll all be changed. In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the immortal. Then the saying will come true:

Death swallowed by triumphant Life!
Who got the last word, oh, Death?
Oh, Death, who's afraid of you now?
It was sin that made death so frightening and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, its destructive power. But now in a single victorious stroke of Life, all three—sin, guilt, death—are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ. Thank God!

⁵⁸With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort."

1 Cor 15:51-58 ( The message)

My Testimony:

Like many people I grew up in a Christian home and went to church fairly regularly as a child. When I was seven I prayed with an older woman in my church and asked Jesus into my heart. When I was younger I didn't really understand the gospel and thought that as long as I went to church regularly and was a decent person I was ok.

I remember distinctly an incident in Junior High when a close friend shared to me about Jesus. This really bothered me because she clearly did not see him in my life, but I was a Christian, right?

I didn't put much thought into it after that and just went about my life. Like most young teen girls my image was more important. As long as things were ok I didn't really think about God. I spent most of my free time hanging out with my best friend, who was like a sister to me or a Siamese twin because we spent so much time together. My life was pretty meaningless and I clung to things that would not make me happy, but God had other plans for me.

One thing I've learned is that sometimes glass must be broken before it can be shaped into a beautiful mosaic. God wanted to shape me but I was stubborn and refused to see the full potential of life. The summer between my junior and senior year of high school would change my life forever.

It had only been a few months since my grandmother had died and it was hard. She was the first person I was close to that I had lost, however I had a peace knowing that she was a strong Christian woman and had lived a full life. That peace was taken for granted at first, but later would be a significant realization.

My family took a vacation to a rural lake in another state and when we came back my mother, father and I had both contracted West Nile from mosquito bites. Imagine what it feels like when you have the flu and your joints and muscles are aching multiplied by a million. I have in my lifetime broken 2 bones, fractured one and sprained my ankle twice, but that was the worst physical pain I had ever experienced. This physical pain was nothing compared to the mental anguish that was soon to follow.

While I was still recovering (even today I suffer side effects like dizziness upon standing), I got a call from my best friend's cousin.

My best friend had died suddenly of a brain aneurism while visiting her mother in Vegas. Silence fell across the line as I tried to absorb this; suddenly I heard crying and realized it was me.

Not being able to handle it, she handed the phone to her mother who began asking questions like "Do you have someone there you can talk to?" I can't recall if I responded. It felt like hours passed, perhaps minutes, my mind was screaming. This isn't possible. The next six months to follow were the darkest times in my life. I walked around like a zombie and the crooked road I followed lead to a deep black hole with seemingly no escape.

I tried to put on a smile when I was in public, but lying in bed at night I couldn't escape the emptiness that consumed me. At first I was angry with God, how could he do this with me?

Slowly a light began to shine at the bottom of the pit and God reached his arms of love to find me when I was at my worst. Dirty and bitter he washed me new and had me smelling sweet again in a way that Lysol couldn't hold a candle to.

Eventually I grew stronger and started living my life again. The anger that ate away at me subsided and I found something I had never known before: peace. True peace that could only be found in handing the wheel of your life over to Jesus Christ and accepting that it is in his hands and that he knows better and that sometimes a piece of glass not only has to be broken but shattered so that the Lord's loving hands could mold it into something beautiful.

My story has not ended and I will not pretend that with my new beginning I lost all of my struggles. Only the lord knows the dark places this soul has been. I still feel the tug of despair every now and then, especially when her birthday rolls around. However, He walks with me in the valley of sorrow and laughs with me in the mountains of joy. I can now say with confidence I am a child of the great I AM and my life is safe in his hands.

For more testimonies check out this blog.

Sri Lanka

Please be praying for believers in Sri Lanka. The war has simmered, but persecution is boiling.